I am getting over a virus (vii)

From the Janitor at the Viet Nam Literature Project

We are almost half way through the 2008 essay, 10 and 1 half pages of 23 and 1 half. The rest moves on with the novelist Robert Anderson from my cousin David’s list of books to crawl a web of meaning around health and illness.

I got up off my sickbed and defended my doctoral thesis about the Vietnamese and orientalist books of Paris, France. Still shaky on my feet in 2009, I met a woman at the co-op who went home, found that essay online and fell in love with this photograph.

I told her to get her head examined. She did, then a year later left her marriage and we got together. 15 years have passed over the only institution I have belonged in.

2 years ago, in February 2022, I started publishing at least 1 of these Viet Nam letters about another’s work each week here at Substack. It is the first project around my topic I have realized on a steady basis.

The 2008 essay has surprised me over this month at how much sense I make. Until 2 years ago I experienced all the sense I have made as defeat, failure, frustration, guilt, and shame.

Stability after 2010 made them all worse, turning scrambling shambles to fits of paralysis. I got help. In fact this week I brought a printout of all 24 pages over to my physician of about 5 years now.

She had expressed interest when I told her how I am writing about 2008. But of course at our meeting Wednesday she glanced only at the first page, first paragraph, first sentence.

I am getting over a virus that I may first have noticed in June, when the secretary at the tech firm I manage pointed out that I wasn't making sense.

We talked about that. What we had 50 minutes for. What can be done in time spared in a week of other duties.

How I write now about my Viet Nam knowing that it is all I can do for any book or author, small bites, a big deal for me, as big as can be. This month’s virus was just a cold. Back to work.

Portrait at All People Soul Food Grill, Hillsborough, North Carolina, © 2007 by Tim Duffy. Link to the essay “I am getting over a virus” here. The first and second and third and fourth and fifth and sixth Viet Nam letter on the essay “I am getting over a virus” appeared on February 7 and February 10 and February 13 and February 16 and February 19, and February 22, 2024.